Brutiful

Brutiful – adj.: Life is brutal. And life is beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly they are inseparable. We must embrace both or neither. If we reject the brutal, we reject the beautiful. Our problems stem from our refusal to surrender to the fact that life is truly more brutal and beautiful than we can imagine. We must let it be. Breathe deeply and know that if we let it come and feel it all – the brutal will make us kinder, softer, stronger, even more beautiful.

― Glennon Doyle Melton

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On The Military Battlefield and Beyond

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Do not miss a heartbeat; dare not blink.  Know what needs to be done and follow through no matter what happens.  Do not hesitate; there is no room for fear or even a millisecond of weakness.  It is your oath to watch their back; it is theirs to watch yours.  Hesitating will get you killed. Or worse; it will get your buddy, your best friend or your entire squad taken out.  Mistakes are not just unacceptable, they are deadly.  Do not fuck it up!

Values become ingrained like a second coat of armor.  Among many things taught, we learn:              

                       Suck it up             figure it out            get it done          soldier on        

trying is not good enough       mistakes lead to disaster         weakness is deadly

bring your A game 24/7                       rely on the training – do not think

                       sleep with one eye open                    there is no room for excuses

  prepare for the worst, hope for the best        there is no room for emotions         

a soldier’s life is no longer theirs   –  the mission is the only thing that matters

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Turning the Page; My Book of Inadequacies​

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I recently told a friend, I was afraid of what people might think of me if they knew who I really was deep down inside.  She looked at me quizzically.  Yet, I realized this was the truth I had created for myself, creatively held within the pages of my “book of inadequacies.”

Whether we own up to the idea or not, I think we all are in possession of a book of inadequacies.  Whether we bury them deep within our conscious, or obstinately face them in our daily lives, they impact our every thought.  Which in turn impacts how we chose to live our lives, how we create our stories and who we invite on our journey.

Shame and fear, I have found, take turns driving and riding shotgun on my own personal journey. Recently, I asked myself why this had become true and what if anything, I could do about it.  As I pieced together the different experiences I had as a child and a young adult, via as honest of a lens as I could muster, I began to see more clearly the root of these feelings.

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What Grows in Your Life-Garden?

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Negative experiences happen, but we do not have to let them move in and hold as much of our life space hostage, as they tend to often times do.

We experience a myriad of both positive and unpleasant moments each and every day of our lives.  Due to the way our minds work, we are naturally inclined to squirrel away, cling to, continuously drudge up and often carry around some of the unpleasant moments in a somewhat protective space, as if our lives depended on their existence.  As if these unpleasant moments make up so much of who we are, we cannot bear to part with them. Since we scientifically know this inclination to be true about the human race, and knowledge is power, how do we work to overcome these natural tendencies to live in a negative space?

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Authenticity ~ A Collection of Choices

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Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.  It’s about the choice to show up and be real.  The choice to be honest.  The choice to let your true selves be seen. ~ B. Brown – The Gifts of Imperfection

The idea of being authentic was first introduced to me in graduate school.  The first few times I heard the word, it was not honestly all that impactful, but it did peak my curiosity. What does it really mean to “be authentic?”  In truth, I think it is more difficult than standing physically naked in front of a room of people, strangers or not, and letting them pick apart your physical form in all of its perfect or imperfect ways.  Why?

Because being authentic is about being emotionally naked.

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Grow Your Wings on the way Down

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Brene Brown – Boundaries, Empathy, and Compassion

This is by far the best definition I have ever heard of what boundaries are, why you want them, and how you would use them successfully.

Believing that people are doing the best they can, makes our lives better, as the first life we change is our own.

 

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