The Undetermined Soul

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In the vast space of my mind, I am many things; a writer, a dancer, a student of meditation, a nature lover, an animal lover, a musician, a storyteller, a photographer, an artist, a poetess and a philosopher.  I am an undetermined soul.

Part of me wants to be able to reach deep into each of these areas and rummage around until I find the one that fits the best.  At different times in my life, I have tried each of these roles on and they all felt comfortable to a certain extent; some more than others.  Yet it has been extremely difficult to choose.  Why is this important?

Well, I have heard it said, if you are a jack of all trades then you are a master of none.  At last, I have been at war with myself for many years.  Who am I?

I love nothing more than to sip tea in a cozy bookshop, getting lost in the pages of a book. Well except maybe settling into my rocking chair in the den with a drawing book and a set of colored pencils, or a journal for writing poetry.  Unless I am feeling active and then you might finding me hiking, horseback riding, walking my dogs, bike riding or looking for art through the lens of my camera.  Recently, I have been thinking about taking dance lessons again, but then I laugh at myself, as I do not know where on earth I would find the time!

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At the moment I am indulging the philosopher and bookworm side of myself as I journey through my master’s degree program working towards becoming a clinical mental health practitioner. Above all things, I love to think and I love to learn!  I also love to be in relationship and feel connected with others.  Will this be the perfect fit?  A career requiring people skills, a philosophical mind, a touch of artistry, the ability to write and the ability to connect with others?  Hmmm….I sure hope so!

Recently, I received a compliment from a classmate I do not know.  She complimented my writing and asked me if I was sure I was not a writer vs a counselor.  My initial thought was, well why not both?  My second thought was, I cannot count how many people have told me they always thought I would pursue art, or I should pursue art!  Which caused my mind to take another turn to, well why not both?  I could always set up a counseling group for therapy through photography, therapy through writing, or therapy through animals. This would marry the different parts of myself and could prove to be very rewarding!  The difficulty would be in choosing just one!  This is the story of my life.  What speaks to me most?

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I keep hoping my journey will lead me down the path I am meant to be on and at some point, all the puzzle pieces will simply fall into place.  When I find it, I will know.  Or, maybe I am just meant to have several careers in my lifetime.

One thing for sure though, is I am loving the journey.  

Keep on keeping on….

~TS

About thoughtfulstroll

I am a veteran, a professional business woman and a counselor in training. Follow me on my journey to becoming a mental health professional.
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