Lately, I have found little time to write. Somehow I have managed to overload myself to a point where my stress is at an all-time high. I am working 23 hours a week, taking three master courses, and attempting to volunteer on Saturday’s for Combat Veteran Cowboy Up. I am also attempting to exercise regularly, take care of my two Jack Russell’s and find time for my husband and friends Basically, I am spread way too thin.
So what happened? Well, I am in a work-battle attempting to get my disabilities recognized. My work is unhappy with my part-time status and wants me to put my schooling on the back burner. They have been harassing me and passing me from supervisor to supervisor (a total of 6 in the year and eight months I have worked there.) I am in school because the VA said my current job, where I sit and type all day, is unhealthy and is causing them not to be able to help me get better. As I am undoing all of their hard work. So they are paying for me to change careers. For fear of loosing my job, I tried to ramp up my schooling to get through it faster, even though it was against my better judgment. Well, now I am in a pickle.
My life is currently completely out of balance! Important things, such as my meditation, my exercising and my husband all got pushed to the back burner. In response to the stress, my disabilities have flared up and I am now getting sick, on top of everything else! I feel like a deer on ice, sliding down hill against my will.
So what now? Well, I am sticking it out with my work situation and am going to try and put into place reasonable accommodations that work for me. I plan to grin and bare it through this semester and next semester I will drop back down to two classes. Which is more reasonable for me, even though it will take me longer to graduate. I am making the time for my husband and fully plan to get back into my mediation practices, starting today. I am also looking into a local community center in order to find a place to work out for the winter. Exercise is proven to combat stress and improve health, both of which I need. I am also going to cut down on my volunteering until I make it through this semester, although it was a hard decision for me to make, I know it is the right one.
As I sat in my group class and explained to my fellow group mates how much I am struggling at this moment in time, I realized I had let myself get out of balance. I put way too much on my plate at once and doing so has proven truly unhealthy. So my new goal is to find and maintain balance in my life. I need to get back to my own personal homeostasis. Sometimes, maintaining balance means drawing boundaries. Learning to say no, even when you do not want too. Even if the person you are saying no to is yourself. Taking a step back and reorganizing what is going on with a level head, making decisions and sticking to them.
Yes, finding and maintaining balance in life can be difficult, but it can also be worth its weight in gold. I believe balance is the key to remaining health and happy.